imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
