I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
