If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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