I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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