We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize