So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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