Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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