She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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