I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
