i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
