the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
