A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
