do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
