like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
