I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
