just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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