Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
jump out the window naked night went bad
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
