Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
