fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
