lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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