we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How does it feel to date your dad?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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