so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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