My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize