So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
