Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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