please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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