I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
