just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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