Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
