you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
