Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
