Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
