i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
