I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
