No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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