My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
