I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You need a sexual gate keeper
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
