TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
