I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
