My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
