So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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