It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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