you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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