He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just high enough for therapy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize