She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
