Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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