We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
