who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize