uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
