Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
