It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
