Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
