so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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