i barfeds in our rink
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
