**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
