How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
