i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize