Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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