Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
